For you... NOV

" Even in the little time we have known one another... I can't help but care for you...
Your heart... your soul...and all those crazy things you do..
If only you knew....

But after that it gets so complicated...
You make it so hard for me to even try

You don't see it from my point of view
We are so far apart and I'm so young...

" I don't wanna think about you..."
It's not that I don't want to think about you..
Just that I CAN'T while we are how we are...
And it's not the way you want me to..
Maybe one day, but I can't lead you on...

The things you say...they get to me...

You makes me feel so guilty.. and over what?

I hate the way I still care about you...

I know you have been through so much.. and I'm here for you...
Just stop pushing me away and then wanting me back.
There aren't many people who can make me cry...
Crying is the same in every language...

You think you have got me all figured out... But in reality you have no clue...
Things is so much easier back in the start.
You think you know but really you have no idea.
All our conversation are forgotten....
and arguments take their place...
I'm JUST a GIRL... what more do you want?

I just want things back the way they were.. When i smiled to see your name...
Back when we have a laugh... and I hated it when you were gone...

I MISS YOU.. :(

We hardly talk anymore.. and it kills me to lose you like this...
I know you find it hard for you to believe.. but I would be lost without you...
Talk to me... I do really need you...
It may not may be love...but does that really matter?

H O P E .....

You mean the world to me.. I hope this helps you understand...

" One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life...and that word is LOVE "

Closing my eyes...I count to ten.. Life is easier when we were just FRIENDS.

We used to be so close but now we can be standing right beside each other and it feels like we are miles apart.


I try to talk to you... but you don't understand...

"I MISS YOU..."



~ Your Angel 

Meet Him and him...

HIM- He is love . We all know that. He's my everything.. He's my ultimate lover, He's my confider, He's my Jesus.. He's my true love...

I've known and loved God deeper for almost 4 years now since I became a Christian. I've learned, I've loved, I suffered, I've enjoyed the victory. This is my God given life, full of unexpected things to come. But this all I know, everything happens for a purpose and life is too short to waste. While I have this life, I'll spend this  to fulfill my destiny and that is to glorify Him... my Love.. my Lover.. My Father.. My Jesus... and TO LOVE HIM ABOVE ALL THINGS...

him - I thought I would never like him in my entire life. He is "the man of my dreams?" still confused. Really confused. I met him in our church here in our place. I was really disgusted the way he looks, really disgusted. All I know, he liked me first and perhaps showed his feelings by giving everything what I wanted. Give me this! Give me that! Yes.. This is the girl  I was before yet God convicted me not to do this act as a response of his fondness to me. I'm very sorry. I confess I was really wrong by that time and apologized to him for all the wrong things and motives I've done... We're now Okay... He's doing fine in that place.. I know he's growing with the Lord.. and here I am, learning , seeking, waiting, wanting, loving.... perhaps....
doing my best to control this feeling and even denying that I was finally falling to him all this time...

Honestly speaking, I asked GOD and even myself this questions about him.

1. Are you the man of my dreams?
2. Are you the man worth waiting for?
3. Will you love me in return?
4. Are you my husband to be?
5. Are you the person I would spend for the rest of my life..?

Are you the one....?
Whoaaaaaah! Questions unanswered!

But GOd just reminded me just today....

Not my time - HIS time
Not my will - HIS will
Not my way - HIS way...

Yes Lord... I will wait... But you know what , this is the biggest question and the hardest question I need to find the answer before anything else.. even the first thing I wrote here..I wrote... I wrote... I asked.. but how about this. : " DO YOU WANT ME to ENGAGED in MARRIAGE someday .... LORD?"

I need YOUR VOICE....

Love....

Leilani

When My Heart Speaks...

This is my first post in this blog wherein I will write all the beatings of my heart...

Bear with me please.. I'm not a poetic lass, I'm not a good writer...
Yet , I will just share to you my feelings, my agonies, my hopes, my ideal man, my LOVE...
God bless everyone.. this is me.. the real feelings inside of me..
And I pray I won't be govern with just a feeling from my flesh but a heart govern of GOD...

GOD is LOVE...

~ Loving You for eternity...

Leilani

Quotations from Eric & Leslie

  
    “Before our relationship ever began, we each individually made a decision to go against the cultural norm – even the Christian norm – by setting ourselves completely aside for each other in every way – mentally, emotionally, and physically. It was a difficult decision to make, yet it was the best foundation we ever could have laid for our marriage.”
    “If your future spouse could see you now, as you interact with members of the opposite sex, how would they feel? Would they feel hurt and jealous, or adored and special?”
    “Faithfulness is not something that should begin only after the marriage vows are spoken. Faithfulness should be learned and practiced throughout our lifetime.”
    “A letter represents something far more than a kiss ever could. It evidences thoughtfulness and the gift of time. While a kiss can prove tender, it must overcome the stigma of impulsiveness to truly display love. A letter on the other hand, when written in the spirit of ardor and romance – even if it never mentions passion – strokes the heart deeper than any other form of physical touch. A kiss cannot be felt again and again from a great distance, but a letter can be read and reread thousands of times. A kiss only familiarizes the lips with the physical body of a lover. A letter familiarizes the heart, mind, and soul. Maybe that’s why God chose to write us a letter.”
    “God knows what we’re attracted to better than we do.”
    “Give God the Pen. The single reason He gave us the pen was so we could give it back to Him.”
    “Tenderness means looking at life through their eyes.”
    “Romance is more difficult after the honeymoon because you’ve won their heart…now you must cherish their heart.”
    “A woman’s perception of her beauty is shaped by the men in her life. So be artists, be gentle and tender with the words you guys speak.”
    “A man’s sense of masculinity and confidence flows directly from the women in his life. If the thing he works hard at is validated by a woman, it will stay with him for the rest of his life.”

    Advice To Girls: “Keep your standards high and keep trusting that that Knight in Shining Armor is out there for you and set yourself aside completely in purity for that person.”
    Advice To Guys: “Same thing, but also the character of Christ. I deal with girls all over the country—all over the world even—and I know that they’re more impressed with sensitivity, kindness, gentleness, and a pure heart than they are with muscles, smooth talk, and everything down just perfect. It’s the character of Christ that will win out in the end. So if you keep your standards high, God will not disappoint you.”

~ http://ylcf.org/2006/02/eric-and-leslie-ludy/

When God Wrote My Love Story...

       It took me about eleven months to truly realize that before I could be part of a perfect love story I had to fall in love with Jesus first. Having lived the first 30-years of my life in and for the world this was a hard concept to grasp until I experienced heartbreak that nearly killed me. Actually, I did die in a way but through that death I was reborn into a whole new life and way of thinking. It was my heartbreak and the journey that followed that would lead me to the two greatest blessings in my life. My salvation and the gift of my husband. Without my First Love (salvation), I could never have appreciated the gifts that would follow. I learned that God will take the worst heartbreak in life and turn it into the biggest blessing ever.

    I saved this article especially for this edition. With Valentines Day just two days away and the atmosphere of love and romance floating around I wanted to share my love story with you. For those of you who have already heard it a gazillion times; Loretta, Charlene, Carolyn…sorry guys…just once more.

    Once upon a time in a land far, far away…just kidding!!

About seven years ago I was engaged to be married to someone I THOUGHT was the perfect one for me. One day, he kissed me good-bye and never came back; he ended our engagement with a phone call and I never saw him again. Ever. To say I was devastated wouldn’t quite describe the pain I experienced. I moved back to Palm Beach, Florida to live with my parents and honestly remember very little about the first few weeks after this incident. The pain was that bad.  Most women who have experienced heartbreak can relate to this awful feeling and some guys can too.

My heart hurt so bad I didn’t think I would survive. Literally, I thought it would kill me. In a way it did. Then one evening after I decided to take my own life by walking off the Palm Beach Inlet, I decided to simply sit on the beach and cry. I cried so hard I don’t think I had any tears left and while I was crying I looked out over the calm blue ocean and for the first time in my life I cried out to God and begged Him to please fix the mess I was in. To please bring my then fiancé back.

I said “God, if you’re really there, please…help me.” It was at that every moment that I met my Savior and the one who would give me the purest most unconditional love I could ever hope for.

In my heart I heard the Lord respond “Learn all I have to teach you and I will heal your broken heart”.  I remember that moment as if it were yesterday, I remember my Savior planting the seeds of faith deep in my heart. He was taking over and I was finally ready to let Him.

For the next eleven months I was determined to learn all the Lord had to teach me. I stopped working and dedicated myself to learning about the The One who blesses us with miracles of TRUE love and little by little the selfish desire that had led me to him started to evolve into a love affair I could never have hoped for. Day after day I realized that The Lord was ALWAYS there to love me, he would never call and break our engagement, cheat on me, abuse me or leave me. That was most important, I didn’t want to be alone, I wanted someone to love and to love me back.

As each day passed I became less dependant on the love of a man and totally dependant on the love of God. Finally, I realized that if my fiancé never came back I was going to be OK. I had the Lord and He comforted me and gave me a peace unlike anyone ever had. After eleven months of just Him and I; I was content. His grace was sufficient for me.

    That’s when God put the finishing touches on my love story; complete with suspense, adventure and romance that only He could orchestrate. Ever notice when God writes the story the testimony is just incredible?

    In late April 2000 I was hired by a citizens community watch group to build a web site exposing corruption in their town police department (enter the adventure part), soon after I built and launched the web site; fully loaded with information they had supplied me with about the bad guys I began receiving death threats from the very police they were exposing (enter the suspense part). Now I am always up for a challenge but what was happening was like a script out of a movie.  I prayed for guidance and felt an unshakable peace move through me so I moved forward and tried to find an agency that would help me and address the threats. Much to my dismay the FBI couldn’t help and other local agencies didn’t want to help. Then God sent an angel.

On May 4^th 2000 at exactly 4:37 P.M. The Lord chose to bless me with my miracle (here comes the romance!). Amazing how we remember the exact details when God literally reaches down and touches us. I had been on the phone all day with various agencies seeking help for my problem when my phone rang. I answered the phone and the voice on the other end said…”This is Special Agent Supervisor, Michael Washam with the Florida Department of Law enforcement; I saw your web site and I am going to try and help you”.

Have you ever just KNOWN when something was right? I spent the next four hours speaking to Special Agent Washam and never once did he ask me to marry him; but I had butterflies in my stomach and KNEW God was getting ready to do something BIG in my life. Our conversation was geared around the bad guys but when I hung up the phone I KNEW he was the one.  I eventually quit working on the web site and met my knight in shining armor in person; a while later he asked me to marry him and in January 2003 Mike planned a romantic weekend in New Orleans where we eloped (much to my parents relief!). God didn’t give me what I originally wanted; He gave me what I NEEDED. His choice for me was A THOUSNAND times better than what I thought I wanted. He gave me a believer and an angel in whom I see God’s reflection. Unlike my first marriage, when things get tough I go to Jesus, he was invited to the marriage and not just the wedding. It’s a prefect recipe for a blessed love affair.

    My heartbreak, journey and miracle have all been the foundation of the Just4Ladies ministry. I had mislabeled love for so long and realized that a true, God blessed love is when I want the other person to be happy even if it means it is without me. It is realizing that no matter what, The Lord is part of this marriage and the author of this love-story as well as a main character. How can it go wrong? It can’t so long as it stays rooted in Him!

This Valentines Day I am praising God for loving me unconditionally and for blessing me with the gift of the most incredible husband for me on earth.  Happy Valentines Day everyone… I love you!

© Michele M. Washam

http://www.just4ladies.com/2008Update/articles-devotions/articles/WhenGodWroteMyLoveStory.htm